The Biggest Mistakes People Make Choosing a Trustee

Most people pick their trustee in about five seconds.

"The oldest. Obviously."

And that's where a lot of good trusts start to go wrong.

What a trustee actually does

When you set up a revocable living trust, you're usually your own trustee. The person you're really choosing is your successor trustee. That's who steps in when you die or can't manage things anymore.

It's a job, not an honor. Your successor trustee gathers the assets, pays the final bills, keeps records, deals with the bank and the title company, and gets everything to the right people.

Utah law also expects them to keep your beneficiaries informed. Within 60 days of taking the job, a trustee generally has to notify the beneficiaries. And a beneficiary can ask for a report of what's in the trust and what's gone out.

So the real question isn't who deserves it. It's who can do it.

Mistake 1: Defaulting to the oldest child

Birth order isn't a qualification. Your oldest might be the most responsible person you know. Or they might be the busiest, the farthest away, or the one who'd rather never touch money.

Ask three questions instead. Do they have the time? Do they have the temperament to stay calm and fair when siblings get emotional? Are they close enough, or organized enough, to handle the paperwork?

Mistake 2: Naming all the kids together to be fair

I get why people do this. Nobody wants to pick a favorite.

But co-trustees have to work together. Under Utah's default rules, co-trustees who can't agree act by majority. With two of them, a majority means both. One holdout can stall everything.

Three or four co-trustees means three or four schedules, signatures, and opinions. Fair on paper can mean slow and frustrating in real life.

In most trusts, being the trustee doesn't change what anyone inherits. The trust decides who gets what. The trustee just carries it out. You can treat your kids equally and still pick one person to run the process.

Mistake 3: Skipping the backup

People name one successor trustee and stop there. Then that person passes away first, gets sick, or simply says no. Nobody is required to accept the job.

Name at least one backup. Two is better.

Mistake 4: Never asking them

Your trustee shouldn't find out at the funeral.

Ask them now. Tell them where your documents are. Give them room to say no while you can still pick someone else.

Mistake 5: Forgetting that people change

The person who made sense when you signed ten years ago might not make sense today. Kids grow up. People move. Marriages and health change.

Read your trust every few years and ask one question: is this still the right person?

What if nobody fits?

Sometimes there isn't a good family choice. Siblings who don't get along. A blended family where any pick feels like taking sides. Kids who aren't great with money.

You can name a professional, like a trust company. They charge for it, but they're neutral and they've done this before. Some families use a professional only as the backup, so there's always someone who can step in.

What to actually do

Pick for the job, not the birth order. Name a backup. Talk to the people you name. Look at it again every few years.

If you're still deciding whether you need a trust at all, start with do I need a trust or just a will in Utah. And remember a trust only works if your assets are actually in it, which I wrote about in signing the trust doesn't move anything.

If you want help thinking through who should be your trustee, book a time with me and we'll talk it through.

I do estate planning from North Salt Lake, and my flat-fee pricing is on the site.

This is general education, not legal advice for your situation. I'm licensed in Utah, Arizona, and Texas.